It’s officially October 19th, my grandmother’s birthday
I want the baby to come today so badly. It’s my grandmother’s birthday, and I would love for them to share a birthday.
My grandmother was an amazing woman in every way. Some of my favorite memories with her were of us going to antique shops, cooking meals, baking Polish desserts, and singing along to the Sponge Bob theme song together. I loved listening to her play the piano, and watching her draw and paint the amazing masterpieces that are all over the house.
She passed away from Ovarian cancer when I was in 5th grade. She was only 64. I think of all the years she might have had if her first dr hadn’t messed up and had listened to her complaints and diagnosed the cancer earlier instead of telling her that her abdominal pains and her distended belly were just a result of “fluid”.
I remember laying on the couch together and rubbing her bald head. It used to make her smile, and we called the soft new growth her “peach fuzz.”
Before she passed away she expressed that the hardest thing about leaving this world was that she wouldn’t see me grow up. She wouldn’t see my graduations, my wedding or see me have children.
Now I’m about to have my first child, and all I can think about is how much I wish she was here with me right now. I wish she could tell me about her births, and what it was like for her when she became a first time mom. I wish she could offer her wisdom and support. I wish she could just hug me again. I miss her so much.
She was my world. She was a second parent to me. She was my inspiration. I love and miss her in a way that words can’t describe. I hope that she and my little boy can share a birthday. It may sound dumb to some people, but I think it would be pretty amazing if my little boy could come into this world on the same day that my grandmother did.
I love you, Grammy. Thank you for loving me, and for encouraging me to always do my best. For teaching me that the world isn’t always a kind place, and for making me strong enough to navigate through it. Knowing you was a gift, and not a day goes my that I don’t think about you. I hope you know how much you mean to me.